


With grace in your heart, (And flowers in your hair)

by His_first_name_is_agent



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Buck gets a cat, Lot of pain for Buck though., M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23624224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/His_first_name_is_agent/pseuds/His_first_name_is_agent
Summary: Buck finds a cat. And moves to Texas. And somewhere along the way, he finds exactly where he’s meant to be.—-First Chapter is pretty short, will update tags as they come in
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Maddie Buckley/Howie “Chimney” Han
Comments: 9
Kudos: 83





	With grace in your heart, (And flowers in your hair)

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings in end notes.

Buck was back in the fire house, but it wasn’t like before. Sure, the hostility had fadded, after the first couple of weeks. But the indifference was almost worse. 

He could hear laugher from the loft, the voices of his favourite people making jokes, and talking. Hen snorted, in the way that always echoed through the fire hall. He missed being the one that made her laugh like that. He finished rolling up another hose, and walked into the loft. The laughter and casual conversation died when he came in. 

“There’s some chilli left there, Buck, if, you’re hungry, or, something.” Chimney said softly. 

“It’s alright. I brought a lunch. Thanks, though.” It always made it so much more uncomfortable, when he sat down to eat. He tried, at first. When he came back to the house, he was most excited for family meals. After subsiding on slightly scorched toast, microvave dinners, and the meals Abuala had snuck to him every once and a while, he was really ready for eating with his house. Preparing an easy salad, as Cap told him about every recipe, chatting easily about everything under the sun.

He should have known he no longer belonged here that first day, when he bounded up the stairs to help with dinner as always, only to be swiftly rejected by Bobby. 

“It’s fine. Go clean something somewhere. I’m sure someone else can handle cutting up a tomato.”

It felt like the floor had fallen out from underneath him. Sure, the whole shift he was getting little jabs from people. Even firefighters that he hadn’t been apart of the law suit liked adding their little snide one liners. He could take it though. He expected all the little comments, and the jokes. It’s not unlike the group to sometimes have fun at someone’s mistakes, or stupid moves. But it was always fun. And it never lasted long.

Even after he stole the fire truck, Bobby invited him in as his sou chef, Buck dicing an onion, as Bobby seasoned his pasta sauce, and the two had laughed over school picture days, each describing the awful back grounds, and the awkward poses that always seemed to show up on mantles.

He had sat down for dinner, the first day back, and the entire room was tense. Eddie spent the whole time glairing, with Bobby quietly pretending he didn’t exsist. Even the people who had made little attempts throughout the day to make him feel welcomed back didn’t dare to make a move against the awkwardness. 

Since then, he’s tried a few more times. Some days, he brought his own food, sitting in the gym, or a loft, eatting a squashed sandwich as he listened to the chatter and laughs coming from the table. Smelling whatever amazing concoction Bobby or someone else on the team came up with, and knowing he might never be welcomed at the table again. 

He stopped bringing food for most shifts. It wasn’t like he was that hungry anyways.

Most of the team was professional enough not to make his life a living hell intentionally. There wasn’t curses, or practical jokes (though, a few times, he mysteriously found his lunch disappeared from the fridge, or his shirt, on the floor, covered in boot marks.) They just, talked to him, the minimal amount. They didn’t make eye contact. Some glared, but even that stopped, after a while. 

It was silence. And that was what killed him.

A couple people reached out, outside of the stiff firehouse walls. Chimney continued texting meems to him, just like always. Hen would phone him. Say that she was checking if he got home alright, then talk about the weather, or a funny call, or what pintrest DIY Karen had invaded the house with this time. 

Other fire fighters reached out too. Ones he never expected to hear from, people with different shifts, or just, minorly different circles. Little texts. His locker mate from another shift sent off one, just about how the locker had been lonely, without him, and that he was glad that Buck was back. Buck had cried, at that one.

At the house, it was quiet. But, Buck knew that some people had his back. That, once the last couple people softened up, it would be ok.

It lasted for weeks though. Weeks where he felt like dying, weeks where he went home, feeling like shit. 

Slowly, Bobby started nodding at him to come on calls as the alarm went off. Sure, he was given the shit jobs, but, he was there, helping people, handing out waters, holding people’s hands, as they waited for their loved ones to be pulled out of the building, comtrolling the latters, and moving the trucks as needed.

It was the little things, but it made Buck feel alive again. When everyone was moving, he could almost pretend like they were’t ignoring him. They were busy. There had never been any chatting on calls, so, really, it was like nothing had changed. 

Sure he wasn’t right by Eddie’s side, rapelling down buildings, running into fires, sharring little smiles from across the truck. And sure. He wasn’t going to leave, and go to his best friends home and watch movies with him and his amazing son. He wasn’t going to build legos, and laugh with the two of them over inside jokes. 

He could almost pretend to ignore the ache, when he was on a call. When there was people to help, even if the help he gave was of the small variety. 

Then, there was a call. It wasn’t too major. A woman’s totteler had locked himself in a washroom, and, she couldn’t get the door opened. It did require haste. The window was open, and, it was a third floor apartment. The ledge was pretty high, so, the chance that the kid might be able to get up to it was low, but, still. Bobby sent Buck to the east side of the house, to watch the window from the alley, and radio if he saw any fingers or noses poking out. 

He watched, as they went up into the building, and removed the door. His neck hurt a little, from the craining, but he was digilent. This was something that was important. And, he always did the best he could for the little jobs, for all the cleaning and the restocking he did at the station. He was so grateful to be back. To have a seccond chance. If he could show the people at the station, maybe that could make them realize how much he cared about all of them. How happy he was, that they were on his team, in his life. 

He heard the screams of the mom as they opened the door, her frantic thanks to the fire fighters up stairs. Buck let out a little sigh of relief. He loved kids. Every call that involved them, he was always a little more tense. A little more worried, than all the other calls. He looked down, and around the narrow alleyway, waiting for the radio signal to crinkle in his ear, telling him to get back to the truck. 

Just then, he heard a little rustle in a dumster, down the alley. He glanced up at the window, but, the call was pretty much done by now. He walked a little closer to investigate, and lifted the lid on the dumster. Glancing through, he didn’t see anything, and leaned back, believing he must have been mistaken. 

But, then there was a soft meow, from under a grungy paper, and Buck immediately leaned right into the trash to find it. He pulled up the paper, and the littlest grey eyes were staring at him, from a skinny, dirty, black cat. 

“ Hey little bud. This isn’t the place you want to be.”

The little cat meowed, and looked at him, cautiously.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Yeah, it’s alright bud. Is it alright if I just take you out of there?”

Buck reached out his hand, and the little cat immediately pressed it’s head into him, making a quiet rumbly noise in response.

“Yeah. Come here. “ Buck picked him up carefully, and put him gently in his turn out jacket. The cat started purring louder at that, nuzzling in quickly to his warmth. Buck chuckled, scratching the cat’s ears, amazed at how quickly the poor thing warmed up to him. 

“Buckley!” He heard his name yelled from the opening of the alley, and caught his captains angry face. 

“I know it might not be the most adrenaline pumping job, but, to abandon your post all together.” Bobby looked angrier than Buck had ever seen him. 

“Cap, I just,”

”Save it for the station.” The Captain turned, and walked away towards the trucks, and Buck deflated. 

The cat meowed.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a 911 lonestar one, but they won’t be showing up til chapter 3, and really coming in on chapter 5. Apologies for anyone who’s missing our yehaw boys and girls, but I promise, it’ll be worth the wait. I’m in the middle of finals rn, so, no harsh critiques til at least 2 weeks from now!! Chapter 2 should show up tomorrow some time, but, Chapter 3 might be a little bit. Also, Eddie isn’t going to play a major role until at least half way through. Stay safe ya’ll.
> 
> ——  
> Trigger warnings for food issues, animal neglect/abuse (Not shown, but implied), Panic attack, negative thinking patterns.


End file.
